People all through time have taught their children the things they've felt are important. I believe our doing so is instinctual and not just cultural. Sharing our knowledge helps our children to survive. I'm blessed to have two young sons. It is joyful watching them grow, learn, and become interesting individuals. I suppose all parents must feel just as I do: I hope I can pass some knowledge on to my sons that will help them to live more fulfilled lives. On this page I've listed some of the knowledge I'd like my sons to learn. I will of course share these ideas with them throughout their lives. These things have significance to me - I hope you'll find some value in them too. If you have wisdom you think my boys should know please and share your thoughts.

Here are some important things I've learned, in no particular order:

One of the most important feelings you can have is thankfulness. When you analyze all the things you can be thankful for, you'll find they overwhelm and diminish those things for which you are less than thankful. Thankful people are happy people. If you are a worrier or find yourself depressed, try - even for a few minutes - to think about things for which you can be thankful. The exercise seems to get the adrenaline flowing; your eyesight will seem better, colors more vibrant, you'll feel stronger, and more alive. Try it you'll see! Do it regularly and you'll find yourself addicted to the good feeling you get. It can change your life.

In marriage, or relationships for that matter, never start a sentence with the following: "You never ..." or "You always ..." Don't ever let them fall into your disagreements. Saying them is never constructive and never helps anything. Use more imagination!

I've observed that people who believe they don't need to show others respect unless it's "earned", are less happy than people who believe the opposite. Treat all people with respect, unless their actions give you cause to take it away, and you'll be much more at peace with your fellow human beings. The world would be a much more peaceful place if we'd all just respect that others are entitled to different beliefs and values.

All people, the world over and all through history, have the same basic emotions and intelligence. Everyone is the same - we are all the same species. The differences between any two individuals are trivial at best. Differences in our language, ethnicity, gender, culture, attitudes, and values are minor compared to our similarities.

I have a architect friend who as a young man was a homeless street person. When he reached the absolute bottom, it was time for a decision - kill himself or live on. He decided that when you're at the bottom, things can't get any worse. He chose to live. He realized that no matter how difficult life could get it would always be no worse than he had experienced. The realization freed him to move forward. He's come a long way - he doesn't let hardships get in his way. His story always makes me think of those wise words of songwriter Kris Kristofferson "Freedom is just another word for having nothing less to lose". Whenever I'm feeling down I think of my friend's wisdom and turn my attention to making a better future.

Another friend once made a wise observation that has had a strong influence on my thinking. He noted that you can't change anyone's mind by telling them they are wrong. Trying to do so is hopeless and any subsequent "consensus" achieved is weak because it is implicitly tied to a power struggle. When one of his ideas is criticized, he thanks the person for their insight and then proceeds to explain in more detail what he was trying to achieve - adapting his approach to his new understanding of the critic's viewpoint. He is very successful at getting people to "see" things his way - and everyone leaves his meetings happy.

Hopefully my boys learn from me everyday - in the stories I tell them and in the way I live my life. Of course they learn from lots of other sources too. When it comes their turn to teach their children, they'll have life experiences they built upon the foundation I've helped to create. - Just as I have built on the foundation my parents helped create. It is a pattern that characterizes what it is to be human.

If you've found any of these ideas interesting I sincerely hope you share your comments with me. You can - I'll be interested! If you have any pearls of wisdom that can be added to this page, they would be really appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you.

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